Hey, teens! Jordan is still in Japan but we’ve thought of a way to fill the gap he created by funny deleting his “Just Say Me” audio: we’ve fed the script of that Secret Life episode into Botnik Voicebox, an app that takes a text file and creates a predictive text keyboard, and with it we can create a script for a dramatic reading of what you all missed! Sam is joined by friends of the show Stephanie, Matt, and Argyle, and we’re all going to learn about motorcycles. I mean, masturbation.

Sam (Ben, Grace, George, Jesse) https://twitter.com/posistress
Stephanie (Amy, Madison, Kathleen, Henry) https://windfallisland.tumblr.com/
Matt (Adrian, Alice, Jack, Dr. Bink, Jimmy) https://twitter.com/mattgcn
Argyle (Ashley, Ricky, Lauren, Joe, Anne, Donna) https://twitter.com/Argyle_Funk

Patreon: https://patreon.com/juergenit

We did it! Four episodes recorded and you get to hear all three of them! Aren’t you glad? Finally, we’re talking about S02E18, “Let’s Try That Again”. Our brains are slime and Sam was only half watching the episode, but that’s okay. Probably just stop listening at the end of the episode when we start talking about Hitler. This week, everyone is hamboning. Thanks, Madison!

Sam – https://twitter.com/posistress Jordan – https://twitter.com/BradypusRex

Patreon – https://www.patreon.com/juergenit

Welp. We really wanged it this time. S02E16, “Just Say Me”? More like S02E16, “Just Wasn’t Meant to Be”, because that episode is lost forever. We’re here instead to talk about S02E17, “The Second Time Around”! A relatively tolerable episode, besides Ashley’s new friend Grant and everything involving Jack and Ricky. This week, we’ve each got our own ideas on how Leo’s driver sounds. You know, like comedy!

Sam – https://twitter.com/posistress Jordan – https://twitter.com/BradypusRex

Patreon – https://www.patreon.com/juergenit

Folks, welcome to the Circlejuerg. Jordan is going to Japan soon so we’re recording double the episodes until then so you don’t have to miss a second of that sweet content. What this means, unfortunately, is that we are going to be getting more and more exhausted and miserable with each passing episode. So, in other words, business as usual! Anyway, let’s talk about S02E15, “Loved & Lost”. It was bad, despite something happening that we’ve been begging for since episode one. This week, Sam has a reference you’re gonna love. ’90s kids, unite!

Sam – https://twitter.com/posistress Jordan – https://twitter.com/BradypusRex

Patreon – https://www.patreon.com/juergenit

Grab some pimento cheese and make some pimento cheese sandwiches! We’re going on a pimento cheese picnic to discuss S02E14, “Til It’s Gone”, where we’ll be saying the words “pimento cheese” a lot! Looks like breakups are on the horizon, and you have to wonder why the last episode was titled “You Don’t Know What You Got…” and not this one. I guess they were referring to their potential for an episode title that would have made sense? This week, Sam issues the ultimate challenge. Sorry about the Alzheimer’s jokes – it’s Amy’s fault!

Sam – https://twitter.com/posistress Jordan – https://twitter.com/BradypusRex

Patreon – https://www.patreon.com/juergenit

Remember the bad episode where everyone skipped school? Well, what if we did it… again? That’s right, it’s S02E13, “You Don’t Know What You’ve Got…” and everyone is skipping school again, but this time there’s a new counselor who actually has a problem with it. Hey, this new counselor is the worst. Bring back Coachelor, please, I’m begging you. This week, Sam is on the floor. Happy Mother’s Day!

Sam – https://twitter.com/posistress Jordan – https://twitter.com/BradypusRex

Patreon – https://www.patreon.com/juergenit

Hey, are you busy this afternoon? Because we’ve got a giant cooler full of chicken wings and we were hoping you could help us get through these bad boys. We’re here post-Netflix to talk about S02E12, “Be My, Be My Baby” – a title so meaningless, we forgot to do TitleWatch 2018 until about 40 minutes in. Ken Fields is back! Help us, Ken Kenobi! You’re our only hope! We recorded this on Star Wars day and I didn’t think about it until just now. This week, Griffin gets demoted. Now THAT’S What I Call Perverse!

Sam – https://twitter.com/posistress Jordan – https://twitter.com/BradypusRex

Patreon – https://www.patreon.com/juergenit

I hope you’re all stocked up on your weird organic hipster tampons or whatever you kids are using these days, because we’re talking about S02E11, “Cramped”! Friend of the show Shell Game joins us this week to give us her perspective on Ricky whom she hates, and conveniently enough it’s an absolute low point for him! Hooray! On the bright side, we finally get to learn about periods! This week, we find the geeks and gamers next door. Sponsored by Verizon Wireless!

Sam – https://twitter.com/posistress Jordan – https://twitter.com/BradypusRex Shell – https://twitter.com/Shell_Games

Patreon – https://www.patreon.com/juergenit

Hey, you remember Heather? Of course you do! She’s been here the whole time, but she’s really in the spotlight this week on S02E10, “Knocked Up, Who’s There?” AKA the title they wish they had thought of in season 1. It’s another relatively tolerable episode, besides Tom and Tammy and Lauren and Madison and Griffin and uhhh why did we kind of like this one again? Oh, that’s right, because of the cool belt buckle Jordan noticed an extra wearing. This week, Lauren’s parents still hate Amy. Try not to laugh.

Sam – https://twitter.com/posistress Jordan – https://twitter.com/BradypusRex

Patreon – https://www.patreon.com/juergenit

Hey, remember when we joked about “the balls episode”? Well. This week we’re joined by friend of the show Chai to talk about S02E09, “Hot Nuts”. Turns out we were accidentally not joking. Sorry about that! Fortunately, it’s a relatively good episode besides the parts where it isn’t. Jack gets taken down a peg and the parenting is on point for once. This week, Jordan is inscrutable. I hope you like piña coladas!

Sam – https://twitter.com/posistress Jordan – https://twitter.com/BradypusRex Chai – https://ephemerapodcast.tumblr.com/

Patreon – https://www.patreon.com/juergenit