Hello, Noisespace! We’re here on our new network to talk about S03E12, “Sweet and Sour” – a bad one, believe it or not! We get three entire Ken Fields scenes in this one, and none of them are good! Careful what you wish for, I guess. AAAAHHH!!! Sorry, I just remembered it’s basically Halloween and I got scared. This week, the Canning brothers guess each other’s birthdays. Don’t forget to wear your secret caps!

Sam | Jordan

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Get yourselves an ice-cold Diet Fringe and put on your pajamas – it’s time to Juerg! This week we’re talking about S03E11, “Lady Liberty”, a rare bad one! Brenda is at it again with Sam’s beloved Fake Relationship to Cause Jealousy plot, Leo is Lulking out, and Grant is being Grant. That’s all great, but you know what sucks? Dave is here. God, I hate Dave. Nobody wants you here, Dave! You suck, DAVE! This week, Sam has opinions about Mass Eff- WHO LET DAVE BACK IN? GET OUT OF HERE, DAVE!

Sam | Jordan

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School’s out! Let’s get ready to mope! It’s S03E10, “My Girlfriend’s Back”, and we are doing our best to have a conversation about it despite not being able to hear each other half the time! This Secret Life episode features some challenging concepts, from time travel to horny teen obstetricians to sadboy shrines… Brenda is not pulling any punches this week! Fortunately, we have our favorite LA Noire characters for moral support. This week, it’s last week, yesterday. Thanks, LAPD coroner Malcolm Carruthers!

Sam | Jordan

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Look out! It’s S03E09, “Chicken Little”, and the sky is falling, or something! We kind of gave up on this Titlewatch. In addition to some truly horrible parenting this episode, we also get some really questionable choices from Grace, and Adrian, and Jack, and Tom. On the bright side, Madison isn’t in it. On the very dark side, Grant is. This week, we’re taking love lessons from Epic Divorce Man. Sorry for all the stuff we said in Grant voice!

Sam | Jordan

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Hey, teens. Are you feeling tired? Does your skin suck? Well, have we got the podcast for you! It’s S03E08, “The Sounds of Silence”, and we’re joined by Lauren from HKIPGTD to talk about our favorite Clean & Clear products, and also the episode! Madison and Lauren have some questionable plans and Ben decides he needs to be more like Ross from Friends, and that all sucks, but at least we get one truly pure, nice scene from Brenda for once! This week, Sam and Jordan sell out. Shoutout to J Squad!

Sam | Jordan | Lauren

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GOOD NEWS! This week we’re talking about S03E07, “New York, New York” and it’s FINE! By this show’s standards! Sure, there’s an extremely problematic joke, but at least Bunny thought it was funny! Most importantly, Ruben wasn’t in it. This week, we’re cutting the baby in half. It’s a classic both-win situation!

Sam | Jordan

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This is S03E06, “She Went That Away”. This episode taught me that you can just not write if you don’t feel like it, so

Sam | Jordan

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I hope you hate Amy, because this week we’re talking about S03E05, “Which Way Did She Go?” and the writers sure do! I guess they’re only capable of liking a maximum of one of their characters per episode and they used all of their kindness up on George’s dick. At least we get a really fun, unproblematic celebrity cameo! This week, we meet our Hitler quota for the season. Thanks for nothing, Brenda!

Sam | Jordan

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Get ready for some bad podcasting! It’s S03E04, “Goodbye Amy Juergens”, the worst episode of the show so far! Our brains were so broken by this episode that we had to cut like ten minutes of us arguing about desserts and the definition of “studio apartment”. Sometimes you just don’t want to talk about the actual show! Remember when we said season 3 seemed less awful than season 2? We were so naive! This week, we meet up with our old friend Sex Girl. Ohhhhh nooooo!

Sam | Jordan

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Folks, something is happening that has never happened before. We have found a polarizing episode. Friend of the show Matt joins Jordan on Team Wrong this week to incorrectly claim that S03E03, “Get Out of Town”, isn’t that bad, while Sam confirms that it’s one of the worst. The fact is, this episode was trash and Sam is good and smart. Jordan and Matt told Sam they will each give him $100 as an apology for thinking this episode wasn’t terrible! How nice! This week, we find an excuse to do Marshall voice again. [Slide whistle!]

Sam | Jordan | Matt

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