Welcome to 2019! For our first Juerg of the year, we’re watching S03E21, “Young at Heart”! And folks, when the title is relevant to the episode, you know it’s gonna be a bad one! Some very questionable relationships on display here but wait actually never mind Brenda says it’s good, actually. What a relief! Could’ve sworn that was illegal but I guess not. This week, we’re seeing Sexmother live in concert. Don’t Bing it!

Sam | Jordan

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What is there to say this week? It’s S03E22, “Loose Lips”, and we’ve got a new Worst Episode So Far. We’re joined by friend of the show Val to talk about, surprise, Ben being awful! This week, we’re sorry we brought a guest into this. As always, we wish you love, peace, and SOUL TRAIN!

Sam | Jordan | Val

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Good news, sort of! It’s S03E23, “Round II”, and it’s not a merciless onslaught of negativity like the last episode! Are any of these Nice scenes earned? No, not really, but at least this episode doesn’t kill you when you watch it – despite Ashley’s best efforts! This week, the Brenda Hampton Apology Tour is coming to take you away. Thanks, Henry!

Sam | Jordan

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Hey, teens! Put down the peyote – this Juergen’ It episode can be enjoyed all on the natch! It’s S03E24, “It’s Not Over ‘Til It’s Over”! It’s wedding time, and it’s drama time! And George is here, and he’s ready to bone down, and Anne is getting married to a bowl of polenta, or something? That can’t be right. Sorry, my notes are all smudged because I was weeping tears of joy from the beautiful Bruno Mars wedding montage. This week, Jordan has to wake up. That’s it, alright?

Sam | Jordan

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Teens, put your phones away! It’s S03E25, “To Be…”, and your hands are for rice now! Ben and Adrian are married now, and that’s just where the show is at. Who cares about that, though, when you could care about interesting things like, what if Anne, was, in a relationship, with, that guy? What if Camille, who we know, was dating George, because, ? What, if Jack and Madisions, where dating, and w, e liked it? What fif, ew’and RBrenada ahd idaieos for tenens wasys fof liefe/? What igvfbu there aws Draama, an dv\wso rRuckiy had to aget a newww byedd.j? This week, I couldn’t possibly care about any of this. Sorry!

Sam | Jordan

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Well, here we are! It’s S03E26, “…Or Not to Be”, and this episode needs a content warning: this is the stillbirth episode. We will not be getting into any of the miserable details, but Brenda certainly did not hesitate to give them to us, complete with one of the most shameless music choices we’ve ever heard in a TV show! But hey, it’s not all bad: there’s also some fat shaming for comic relief! Wait, never mind. This week, it’s all bad. I’m sure season 4 will be better!

Sam | Jordan

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We may have finally gotten the Just Say Me episode of Juergen’ It done, but we are by no means finished with that episode of Secret Life! This week, we begin our new Patreon series, the Circlejuerg, in which we will continue watching and discussing Just Say Me once a week, every week, until the patrons let us stop. For as low as $1 a month, you can get access to the Circlejuerg, as well as all of our bonus content up to this point: Secret Life audio commentaries, our full reading series of the Secret Diary of Ashley Juergens, and fan fiction readings! What are you waiting for? Give us money so I can pay Jordan to stop bumping his mic!