This week on Patreon we started our new series of bonus content, The Secret Life of the American Computer! The computer-generated script is written by Sam in more or less the same way as the Botnik script for our Just Say Me episode, but with two changes: 1) some of the shorter/simpler lines are just written normally by Sam because this process takes forever otherwise, and more importantly 2) there is now fun narration written by Sam and not Botnik, describing the scenes as they play out! One episode in and the story is already getting extremely weird. If you want to hear more, all episodes will be on our Patreon and can be unlocked for as low as $1 a month!
Great news: this show finally made Jordan violently ill! This week, we’re holding ourselves together as best we can while we talk about S03E02, “Accentuate the Positive”! Could this be? Is it finally the legendary good season? No! Don’t be ridiculous! This week, we’re boosting our treble. Look at this good picture!
Also, we have a Discord server now!
Folks, something is happening that has never happened before. We have found a polarizing episode. Friend of the show Matt joins Jordan on Team Wrong this week to incorrectly claim that S03E03, “Get Out of Town”, isn’t that bad, while Sam confirms that it’s one of the worst. The fact is, this episode was trash and Sam is good and smart. Jordan and Matt told Sam they will each give him $100 as an apology for thinking this episode wasn’t terrible! How nice! This week, we find an excuse to do Marshall voice again. [Slide whistle!]
Get ready for some bad podcasting! It’s S03E04, “Goodbye Amy Juergens”, the worst episode of the show so far! Our brains were so broken by this episode that we had to cut like ten minutes of us arguing about desserts and the definition of “studio apartment”. Sometimes you just don’t want to talk about the actual show! Remember when we said season 3 seemed less awful than season 2? We were so naive! This week, we meet up with our old friend Sex Girl. Ohhhhh nooooo!
I hope you hate Amy, because this week we’re talking about S03E05, “Which Way Did She Go?” and the writers sure do! I guess they’re only capable of liking a maximum of one of their characters per episode and they used all of their kindness up on George’s dick. At least we get a really fun, unproblematic celebrity cameo! This week, we meet our Hitler quota for the season. Thanks for nothing, Brenda!
GOOD NEWS! This week we’re talking about S03E07, “New York, New York” and it’s FINE! By this show’s standards! Sure, there’s an extremely problematic joke, but at least Bunny thought it was funny! Most importantly, Ruben wasn’t in it. This week, we’re cutting the baby in half. It’s a classic both-win situation!
Hey, teens. Are you feeling tired? Does your skin suck? Well, have we got the podcast for you! It’s S03E08, “The Sounds of Silence”, and we’re joined by Lauren from HKIPGTD to talk about our favorite Clean & Clear products, and also the episode! Madison and Lauren have some questionable plans and Ben decides he needs to be more like Ross from Friends, and that all sucks, but at least we get one truly pure, nice scene from Brenda for once! This week, Sam and Jordan sell out. Shoutout to J Squad!
Look out! It’s S03E09, “Chicken Little”, and the sky is falling, or something! We kind of gave up on this Titlewatch. In addition to some truly horrible parenting this episode, we also get some really questionable choices from Grace, and Adrian, and Jack, and Tom. On the bright side, Madison isn’t in it. On the very dark side, Grant is. This week, we’re taking love lessons from Epic Divorce Man. Sorry for all the stuff we said in Grant voice!
School’s out! Let’s get ready to mope! It’s S03E10, “My Girlfriend’s Back”, and we are doing our best to have a conversation about it despite not being able to hear each other half the time! This Secret Life episode features some challenging concepts, from time travel to horny teen obstetricians to sadboy shrines… Brenda is not pulling any punches this week! Fortunately, we have our favorite LA Noire characters for moral support. This week, it’s last week, yesterday. Thanks, LAPD coroner Malcolm Carruthers!